A Very Ngobe Navidad

Christmas, or aqui en Panama, Navidad was more emotionally draining than I ever anticipated. I knew I would be homesick, but not nearly to the extent that I was. The day started by cooking jonnie cakes which is coconut bread in the Pentecostal church. That late morning, this is Christmas Eve mind you, was filed with games for the kids and a present for each of them. They pulled the gifts out of a trash bag and called the kids up one by one to get their presents, almost exactly how my family does it in Connecticut, minus the Santa costume. The morning was followed by a huge meal of spaghetti, rice, yame, boiled chicken, and coffee. After lunch everyone went home to rest and came back around 6pm for mass. There was a lot of signing, a lot of women throwing themselves onto the floor in the name of god. The kids got up and sang a Christmas song, kinda like they do at the kid’s mass at home too. I guess some things are just universal. The small similarities made me smile, but for the most part of the 4 hour mass I laid on the back pew in a very weepy state of mind. I would cry for a bit, pray for a bit, and was thinking of home the entire time. The kids were a little concerned with the crazy crying gringa, but I just wanted to let it out. At one point though my host grandmother came over to me and said, in Spanish, “Edi, pull yourself together, there’s no crying on Christmas, we all miss our moms and family who can’t be here right now, besides, you’re scaring the children.” After that I laughed a little, at myself mostly, got up and sang for the rest of mass. Home. Bed. Wake up on Christmas day. Any day. And then Christmas was over and the tropical weather continued with no snow, polish food, or Christmas trees in site.

I did receive one gift from my friend Jimmy, one of the boat drivers: a snickers bar and some red apples. At a homesick time like that, it was the perfect gift.